Marx + Beauty Magazines = one long day...

I know I haven’t updated in a bit. I seem to be falling into my crazy perfectionist trap of thinking that it has to be perfect to go out into to blog world. So instead of posting, my post rafts pile up in word documents on my laptop and in my head. In an effort to help end that I decided for better or worse, I’m just gonna post and post and post. If it’s not perfectly written or a comma is missing, too bad! I just need to get going. Time’s a wasting! (Please, dear reader, don’t add comments to critique my writing style just yet. I’m too new and unsure of this being any use for anyone.)

Chelation therapy #17 kicked my butt today. It was a rough one to say the least. I usually try to sleep for the two+ hours I’m waiting on the IV to drip, but today I just couldn’t make myself sleep. I fidgeted and rustled, but nothing seemed to help. The EDTA in my IV drip felt what I would imagine Icy Hot would feel like flowing through your veins. It doesn’t usually feel like this for me, but occasionally I’ll have a bad day with it. Today was one of those. I got a good 30 minutes of dozing at the end, but just felt completely shot for the rest of the day.

I made it back for my “Wealth, Power, & Prestige” class, which is a sociology course on the study of inequality. We were critiquing Marx, and all I could think about was how Marx and I would totally be coffee buddies. I think if Marx were alive today, he’d want to end genocide and provide healthy alternatives. Then the part of my brain that wasn’t feeling high decided that this was quite impossible. Why would dear Karl oppose violence and bloodshed if it led to an overthrow of the bourgeoisie currently in power? And why would he want to give choice with products that were healthier alternatives to their counterparts? I realized how ridiculous the dialogue in my head would seem to anyone else listening to my thoughts. So, in my altered state I decided I wanted to be a cactus for the rest of the day. I know, I know, but it made sense in my head at the time. Clearly, this shows why my mom still has to drive me to and from chelation. As much as I seem semi functional, there’s really no telling what’s going on in my head.

Yesterday I bought an issue of Allure magazine, but waited to crack it open til tonight. I quickly got frustrated by it after leafing through the whole thing. The issue was comprised largely of Allure’s “beauty awards”(a time when Allure announces the winning beauty products in all sorts of categories). There were so many products featured that I kind of got disgusted looking at them. There were so many pages devoted to these top products that contain known and unknown chemicals and toxins, and they’re simply going to hurt people- not all people, but isn’t hurting some people hurting enough people? Of all the categories there were a few lines devoted to “natural” products. Not enough products were listed and just because something is all-natural doesn’t mean it is safe. Example- Heavy metals are natural, but consuming them in the wrong quantities will kill you. I’m frustrated by a world so concerned with looking young and gorgeous that we’re literally killing ourselves. At the same time, I know I’m a part of that world. How I look isn’t my biggest concern, but I definitely spend too much time trying to make myself look good. I’m not ugly, by any means, but I’m not breathtaking. It seems that being average makes me want to try a lot of things to bump my beauty up even just a bit. We’re programmed from a very early age that things are much better if you’re pretty. Then we grow up and buy magazines that tell us what products we need to use to obtain that beautiful perfection we’re striving for. That perfection that is unattainable. It’s shallow and ridiculous, but it’s the honest truth. Every girl wants to hear that she is captivating and believe it. I think the hardest part is the believing it.

I want to look at magazines that talk real social issues right alongside promoting products that are healthy. I want to see an emphasis on things that matter, but also get some beauty talk that helps me understand how to celebrate me and highlight the way I’m made. Anyone know of a magazine like that? If so pleeeeeeeease comment! I want to financially support that magazine and promote it as well.

I’m off to bed. Sweet dreams…and leave me some comments ;)

Today was shopping phase #1. Because heavy metals are in so many things, I have to change the majority of the products I'm using to prevent more metals from poisoning me again. That means food, cleaning products, makeup, body care products, etc. Since I expect this to take a while (and be quite pricey) I've broken it up into different phases. Each time I focus on getting just a couple of different things. The goal of shopping phase #1? To replace my toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, and deodorant. I grabbed my reusable shopping bag and headed to Native Roots Market (http://www.nativerootsmarket.com) to complete the task.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking this doesn't sound like a big deal. You simply don't understand, because, sweet Jesus, it was a HUGE ordeal. You know how excited you are when you get to pick out clothes for the first day of school? How you sift through everything you own, but become so overwhelmed at the thought of picking a single outfit that could determine and set the tone for the entire year? How you realize there is no possible way to choose something? How you wanna curl up in a little ball on your closet floor and rock back and forth like someone who's escaped the looney bin? That's exactly how I felt but worse. There were so many things to choose from! What if I get the wrong thing? What if I hate the way it smells? What if I end up having an allergic reaction to one of the natural ingredients? What if I have to come back and buy another expensive product that wouldn't work either and I continue to do it over and over again and don't find anything...ever? I'm not normally this neurotic, but it's taken me a while to find what products work with my difficult, thick, wavy hair and weird skin. It seems like such a small thing, but it feels like I'm going through puberty all over again.

Fortunately, I had one of my best friends, Tag, with me. He's a raging environmentalist that supports my efforts to be healthy, eat organic, attempt composting, and be an activist for everything I believe in. He was so patient and helpful. Picture me running back and forth between each shelf and attempting to read all the labels, smell everything, compare prices, and then repeating it several times more. Tag read labels to me, smelled things, and took products from me as soon as I decided on them so I couldn't change my mind. He is the epitome of helpful. I was such a wreck that I would have cried without having such a chill and patient buddy on my side raving about how much better things will be with me feeling better.

I left Native Roots with more than I meant to, but who can resist a getting a couple snacks when they're about to have a nervous breakdown in the soap section? Not me, dear reader. Here's the breakdown of what I bought:

-2 Clif Kids Organic Twisted Fruitropes
-paraben & aluminum free deodorant
-mini bottle of all natural shampoo
-fluoride free mouthwash
-tea tree oil conditioner
-lip butter (locally made!)
-cruelty free, fluoride free mint toothpaste
-1.87 lb. of brown bismati rice
-waste minimizing toothbrush (that's handle is made of flax!)
-non-bleached, chlorine free baking cups (the ones for muffins & cupcakes)

All of this booty totaled $53.49. That's not too shabby. I definitely need to figure out where I'm going to be pulling money from to fund these healthier, but undeniably more expensive items. Definitely more on that to come. (I welcome any & all ideas on the matter, though.) You can expect reviews on each product very soonish. But for now, I'm gonna go brush my teeth without fluoride being anywhere near my mouth.